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Now that I'm Twittering, I'm discovering all kinds of useless fascinating things online that I never would have found with my limited (hello, sleep-deprived mommy) time. And finding things that I want to save so I'll use this blog as my repository. It is all making me want to blog here again and giving me fodder to do so. Yay.

This is purely for entertainment, of course. To me, this skit is a mash up of my music business days (working for Metallica, Def Leppard & the like) and my more current days doing the Internet thing. It just totally cracks me up.

Thanks to CC Chapman for the link via Twitter. OK, now back to work. Or time to start work. Right.

OK, I have to preface this rant by saying that I love the concept of virtual worlds & I love gaming. I spent the late 80s/early 90s in MUDs and MOOs; I was a fan & follower of Mark Pesce in the heady days of VRML discussions & I was ready to build my own virtual reality Web site; I've been a sci-fi fan since grade school (Ray Bradbury) and later Neuromancer changed the way I perceived computers and life; I've played video games for eons, starting with Space Invaders and Asteroids; kicked ass and spent all my laundry quarters in college on Gallaga. Love arcades, love Web-based Flash games, so this stuff is not new to me.

Last night I tried out Second Life because I've heard about, read about it in the news, and then someone twittered about it the other day. I downloaded the software, told my husband about it, and thought I'd show him how virtual worlds work. I had picked my basic avatar already - "The Girl Next Door" - and as soon as I arrived, my avatar began forming, naked at first, then jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt appeared on a thin form.

The first thing I did was figure out how to change my appearance. I made my avatar shorter and thicker, darkened her hair and eyes, lightened her skin. As I was doing this, I became aware of a male avatar hovering around me. At first I figured he was new, too, and we were all just fumbling around. But he kept bumping up against my avatar.

I ignored him for a while as I began taking the tests in the orientation level to move forward in the game/world. This guy avatar was still there everywhere I went. I made my avatar walk to the opposite end of the island. He followed. I read through the instructions quickly so I could figure out how to communicate. And the first thing I said on my first day in Second Life was "Buzz off!"

Hey, I lived in the city for 13 years. I can handle assholes who harass me on the street. I've taken self defense classes. I know how to set boundaries. I've been online since 1987 - I know how to "be safe" - and in all the years I've never had any real problems, even when I really put myself and my true identity out there in cyberspace. Of course, back in the early 90s, I was the one advising women to use gender-neutral names and avatars to avoid this very kind of childish bullying from cowardice jerks who get off on being aggressive in virtual worlds because of some deficiency in their real-world life.

So I'm trying to ignore this jerk, and meanwhile my husband is starting to read what the guy is saying to my avatar - to me... - in chat.

"Nice ass. I could F--- your ass all night long."

OK, this is my husband reading what some other guy (I'm assuming it was a guy) was saying to me (right, my avatar that looks more and more like me as I keep altering its appearance). In the real world, my husband would have decked this guy. One quick martial arts move and a broken nose later, this guy would be wimpering for mercy. But here's my husband - who isn't really into the Internet and doesn't understand why people would talk to strangers online much less spend their time frequenting a virtual world - totally helpless as he watches his wife's avatar (in his mind, his wife) getting sexually harassed and practically molested online.

Once I realized ignoring this guy was futile and that my entire first experience on Second Life was quickly going down the toilet, I looked up how to report abuse on the system, found the form, filled it out in graphic detail and submitted it. I had already told the jerk if he kept harassing me, I'd file an abuse report. That did not deter him in the least as his avatar rubbed up against mine, felt her up, chatted obscenities, chased her across the island, stood in her way and blocked her path.

I have to say at no time did I panic or get angry, just mildly annoyed. And in no way am I comparing this form of harassment in any way to the horrible stuff going on with a female blogger right now - real-world harassment - but I'm just sickened that my first experience with Second Life had to be so disgusting. And even more disheartened that it happened in front of my husband who was already thinking this whole Twitter thing was bad and that Second Life could only be worse - much worse.

His greatest fears were realized as he watched some guy feel up his wife. He could not separate avatar from person, virtual from real, because in his mind it was one and the same.

I shut down the game. Now I was angry. Why did this have to happen in front of my husband? If I had tried it out first and it had happened, I'd have reported it and then moved on. I want to try it again. I don't want to give assholes the power to keep women off Second Life by creating a hostile environment for them. But it can be very disempowering to encounter that kind of treatment when you first arrive in a new space, virtual or otherwise.

And I'm ashamed to say that while the harassment was going on, I found myself returning again and again to change my appearance and make my avatar even shorter, wider, cover up more skin with the tshirt, anything to make her appear less attractive, less of a target. I don't think men have any idea what this feels like, what this can do to a person. Even though it is technically "make believe." Or is it?

I'd jump back in the fray without hesitation if it wasn't for my husband's feelings. He is very hurt by what happened - angry, frustrated, confused. And I feel like if I were to go back to the game, he'd feel somehow betrayed by me.

My first time on Second Life sucked, that's for sure. But I really don't want this brief experience last night to define my entire experience with the game - or change my views of virtual worlds.

The irony of all of this is that Friday night I lectured about how the Internet is the same today as it was 12 years ago in many ways. I opened my talk by saying that "The Internet is Like a Gun." Guns aren't inherently bad but there are bad people who use guns in bad ways. The Internet is not inherently bad. But there are bad people who use the cloak of anonymity afforded by the Internet to do bad things. Should this stop us from using it? No, of course not. But does it make you think twice and do the virtual equivalent of looking over your shoulder? Sure. There are bad people out there doing bad things. And last night, I found one of them on Second Life.

Technorati Tags: second life avatar virtual world gaming women harassment

Documentary in the works on Net Neutrality. Worth watching NOW.

I like MySpace. Really, I have nothing at all against MySpace.

As a matter of fact, I have 2 MySpace pages. One started out as a place to promote my books and other projects but it has quickly turned into a personal page linking to my real-life sisters, real-life friends as well as favorite musicians, authors, magazines, products and random acquired "friends" who wanted to connect and seemed interesting.

The other page is brand new and my attempt to have an actual promotional page that isn't personal in nature to go back to my original goal of promoting my books and projects. Haven't had time to update that one yet so it hovers in cyberspace half-baked.

I have also helped author Pam Houston set up her MySpace page. And it was while I was working on another author's site that it occurred to me: MySpace doesn't promote authors in the same way it does comedians, musicians and filmmakers.

This is really a missed opportunity for MySpace although looking at their top nav tool bar, it would be a tight squeeze to fit Books in there. Still, it is manageable and could be a great new way for people to connect to their favorite authors and authors to connect with their fans.

Right now, there is a massive number of authors - including authors published by major publishing houses - with MySpace pages. They are all but hidden without the same kind of promotional push given to comedy, music and film. I just wanted to voice my opinion on this topic as both an author and a Web wonk.

I hope MySpace will finally see the light and realize the people who love books and reading and the people who love writing are all on MySpace trying very hard to connect. MySpace, make it easy for us, will ya?

Technorati tags: myspace book author pages pam houston aliza sherman

I'm finally checking out Twitter. Does that qualify for Late Early Adoption or Early Late Adoption? Or am I just so far out of the loop that I'm relegated to total Newbie status?

In just a few minutes, I was able to link with (add as friends) some of the finest minds in New Media (is it still called that today? Probably not. Note to self: Moving to Alaska means not knowing the lingo anymore).

Anyway, the site itself - while simple in premise - does take some convoluted navigating through the FAQ to figure out how to make things work. The instructions almost make sense but then don't. Still, I was eventually able to hook up my mobile phone to receive messages and finally figured out how to post on the Web site (it is easier to understand the instructions for posting via phone than the site). But no matter, I was in, on and Twittering.

Living so far removed from the happenings and goings on in the industry makes for an interesting contrast. Everyone else is coming back from conferences, going to meetings, doing deals. I'm twittering about my baby, the temperature (started around 15 degrees below zero today), and trying to get work done with said baby.

All in all it was a fun first day on Twitter.

I did, of course, shut off the phone text message feature and unsubscribed from Googlenews. After 2 messages, I was already sick of it. I'll just Twitter on the Web. Twitterific!

Do you Twitter?

I'm checking out all sorts of social networking sites, mostly just for fun. Right now, I'm finding the most useful from a business standpoint is LinkedIn and the most useful from a generally social standpoint relevant to my personal life is Maya's Mom.

What I like about LinkedIn:

1. I'm actually finding people I want to reconnect with, especially from the old New Media days.
2. I'm finding people I'd like to network with from a business standpoint - helpful connections for my current work.

What I like about Maya's Mom:

1. It is easy to use and intuitive so I don't have to waste time trying to make sense of it.
2. It allows me to import my personal blog so I'm not blogging all over the place with different blogs.
3. I am actually joining groups on topics that are of interest to me (baby wearing, baby sign language, work at home moms, etc.). I'm actually posting and following threads - something that my fuzzy brain finds challenging on any other online moms' forum.
4. It emails me a daily digest of any relevant activity in my groups and with my account. This draws me back in to the exact location something new has occurred.
5. You can only do a limited number of things on it - it isn't trying to be everything to everyone with every bell and whistle it can throw out there. It feels more focus and directed to me making it easier for me to handle it, even after a challenging day juggling all the parts of my life.

Like LinkedIn, Maya's Mom is only as good as the effort I put into interacting with it. The more I connect with others, the more I post, the more benefits I get back that are finely tuned to my own needs.

While I am still futzing around with MySpace a few minutes each day, I'm not feeling any kind of community connection there - it just seems to disjointed. I'm enjoying uploading videos of the baby on YouTube but not really forming or participating in community there.

Right now, all the rest of the sites are just not grabbing me, not compelling me to participate or driving me totally insane trying to figure them out or remember how to do things on them. I've got mommy brain - be obvious and intuitive or I'm out of there.

What are your favorite social networking sites, and where can I find you?

I decided to fill out this survey. It took longer than I initially thought but it was interesting enough. Not sure how this will help more women become successful published authors, however, I'm curious to see when the results are in and report is completed.

FROM A PRESS RELEASE:
Over the past 52 weeks, fewer than 15 percent of the books on the New York Times non-fiction bestseller list were authored by women. Industry experts estimate that nearly 70 percent of non-fiction books are purchased by women. This disparity led Content Connections (www.contentconnections.com) and eWomenPublishingNetwork (www.ewomenpublishingnetwork.com) today to launch a national, comprehensive study on the reading, recommending and book buying habits of women.

The study also investigates the factors that can help more women become successful, published authors. The "Women and Books 2007 National Study" is available online from March 8th, International Women's Day (since 1909, a global day to connect women around the world and inspire them to achieve their full potential), through Mother's Day on May 13th.  Women from all walks of life are encouraged to participate.

The survey can be found at www.WomenAndBooks2007.com The survey focuses on non-fiction books that female readers buy for themselves, give to others, and receive from family, friends and professional associates. It also explores the factors that influence women's decisions to buy, give or read a book. 

"We are interested in hearing from all women who read and talk about non-fiction books, especially those who can envision themselves as authors -- from top-level managers at Fortune 500s to stay-at-home moms," said David Brake, co-author of the survey and CEO of Content Connections Inc. "With 152 million women in the U.S., we think they're woefully underrepresented on non-fiction bestseller lists."

"The purpose of this survey is two-fold -- to understand how women choose to buy and give books, and how an understanding of the publishing process may be hindering aspiring women authors in their quest to get published successfully," added Jan. B. King, the other survey author and founder of eWomenPublishingNetwork. "It is only fitting that we launch this survey on International Women's Day so women's voices can be heard and create a lasting legacy in books."

The "Women and Books 2007 National Study" will help:
•Publishers focus on the unique preferences, needs, and behavior of female book buyers.
•Booksellers better understand how and why women buy and recommend books.
•More women adopt a successful strategy for becoming published authors

Every participant will receive a complimentary copy of the Women and Books 2007 Report, and will be entered into a drawing to win one of twenty $100 specialty retail gift certificates to be awarded after the close of the survey. Study results will be announced during Book Expo America, held in New York City from May 31st to June 3rd, 2007.

To complete the approximately 25 minute "Women and Books 2007 National Study" go to www.WomenAndBooks2007.com

About Content Connections:
Content Connections (www.contentconnections.com) is an independent publishing services and consulting firm. Each year they implement hundreds of surveys, focus groups, and organize online review panels for some of the largest publishers in the world. They are dedicated to helping authors and publishers create content that connects.

About eWomenPublishingNetwork:
eWomenPublishingNetwork (www.ewomenpublishingnetwork.com), the number one resource and advocate for successful, women authors, helps women who want to become non-fiction authors write marketable books, and women who are already authors create spin-off or additional products and promote them effectively.

Do I really have nothing meaningful to blog about anymore? Is everything I have to say relegated to baby, post partum, motherhood stuff? I have totally lost my identity as an expert in anything. But I do like my American Idol.

Here are my reviews of the first 3 weeks of the Top 24 competitions. These are my impressions a day or two after viewing the shows the first, SECOND and third weeks. Hope this isn't too confusing. Hey, it is coming from the heart...

Alaina - forgetable - SO SO SO BAD. - History

Amy  - forgetable - STILL NOT GOOD - Isn't she history, too? Can't remember.

AJ - forgetable - CAN'T REMEMBER. Okay performance. History.

Blake  - Who? - COOL PERFORMANCE. I'm liking this guy. Not going to win but enjoy him.

Antonella - I like her look. TOO BAD SHE SUCKS. Naked girl gets another chance. The power of nudity on the 'Net. She should go next week.

Gina - nice girl, not wowing me. BIG LUNGS, IMPRESSIVE FOR A WHITE GIRL. I like her but she has a lot of work to do to not get booted soon.

Brandon - I like him. WEAK FIRST SONG. Getting weaker all the time - too bad. He's nice looking with a smooth voice.

Chris Timberlake, I mean Justin, I mean... ENJOYED IT. I'm getting a kick out of this guy. Won't win but he's fun to watch.

Haley - can't remember her - JUST PLAIN BAD. Is she still in the game? Can't picture her.

Jordin - I like her. GREAT FOR 17. I think she'll be in the top 6 or 7 if she keeps it strong.

Chris - FUNNY! I bet he'll win because of his winning personality. STILL LIKE HIM BUT NOT AN AMAZING PERFORMANCE. Still like him and I don't think he'll be going right away, but won't win.

Jared - not sure. HE WAS OKAY. Liked that face move. He's good, I guess, but not wowing the socks off me.

Lakisha - Love her! LOVE HER EVEN MORE! This was a weaker performance for her - not a Big Lakisha Day this time around. But she'll be up in the top 6.

Leslie - freako. NOT GOOD. Missed her performance but clearly she is bitter and wacko. History.

Nicholas - forgetable. NOT GOOD. Who is this one? I think he was history.

Paul - memorable because of the Asian thing but no. JUST OKAY. History.

Melinda - no - POWERFUL - SURPRISED ME. Funny Valentine rocked the house - this gal is GREAT. But I still don't think she will win. Maybe top 3? Possibly top 2?

Nicole - No. I THOUGHT HER PERFORMANCE WAS A NIGHTMARE. I've forgotten her - I think she might be history.

Phil - Nice voice. NOW I CANNOT REMEMBER WHICH ONE HE WAS. Forgotten him - is he history, too?

Rudy - Or was it Rudy that has a nice voice? Get Rudy and Phil mixed up. IF HE WAS THE LAST ONE, HE WAS OKAY BUT MAYBE THAT WAS PHIL. Is he there or history?

Sabrina - not without a nose job - GREAT JOB. Missed her performance other than on voting night but still think she can carry her own against the awesome black women.

Stephanie - good, but don't think so. GREAT WAY TO START THE SHOW BUT OTHERS BLEW HER AWAY. She'll hang in for top 8, maybe top 6. Too conservative to win it all.

Sanjaya - token Indian. COMPLETELY LAME...BORING. Get rid of this guy, will you?

Sundance - don't remember his audition but his Hollywood stint sucked. BETTER THAN HOLLYWOOD BUT JUST NOT IMPRESSED YET. He's okay. When he get's down and bluesy, great, but we don't need another Taylor Hicks who I thought was a big mistake as last season's winner anyway.

Link: Thought Theater: Anna Nicole Smith Dead at 39.

I'm not quite sure why the world is fascinated with Anna Nicole Smith. Just yesterday, I happened upon "Entertainment Tonight" and saw yet another segment of the ongoing saga of Anna Nicole's latest controversy. I even said to my husband, "How could a news show - albeit an entertainment news show - devote (waste) so much time to a woman who clearly is very troubled AND drugged out in every interview.

As a new mom, I was especially saddened to see Anna Nicole's little baby in the middle of a paternity controversy at such a young age. And having an addict for a mother - not newsworthy, just incredibly sad.

Then my husband - the guy who never watches TV unless I "force" him to watch one of my favorite shows, the guy who knows nothing about celebrity gossip - sends me an email titled "Mortality" and asking me if the woman we saw on TV last night who seemed so drugged out was actually dead or if it was a rumor.

I did a quick search on Google to find that yes, indeed, Anna Nicole Smith was dead.

Why are people so obsessed/fascinated with her? I think she perpetuated the "unwanted" attention from media, fed off of it, and in some convoluted way, her death is just part of her overall view of herself and her life (ala Marilyn Monroe).

I really don't want to devote any more time to this. I just thought it was ironic after the post I wrote yesterday. Here's a woman with celebrity, money, a new family, and she threw it all away. Deep down inside, she was a wounded person, hurting and alone.

A woman I know killed herself.

I don't know all the details, and I didn't even know she had died until someone told me last week by email and then I didn't find out about the visitation until the following week.

I didn't know her very well - I couldn't say we were friends. We were colleagues. She and I worked together on the Anchorage Film Festival in 2005.

She also worked for one of my clients so during the last months of my pregnancy, as I waddled through the halls of their offices, she'd stop me as I passed her desk, put her hand on my belly, and talk to me about her pregnancies years ago and ask me about mine.

She was a no-nonsense person who seemed ever more serious. Very matter of fact, pull no punches, you know the cliches and the type. I really liked her because I knew exactly where she was coming from, and I knew if she said she was going to do something, she would do it. She was the kind of person that could come into a mess and roll up her sleeves to get things cleaned up with the minimum of emotion.

But she was a tender and caring person beneath the tough, crusty exterior. Her eyes would well up when we'd talk about pregnancy and babies. I thought we connected on several levels. Then we lost touch when I stopped working before giving birth. I hadn't seen her in the months following as I struggled with new motherhood and post partum depression.

I've heard rumors that something bad happened that may have been the final catalyst for her suicide. But I've also heard that even a month earlier she was giving things away, tying up loose ends, doing the things that people do when they are contemplating killing themselves. Little signs, little gestures, that actually looking back seem huge and telling.

I can't help wondering if I would have noticed the signs if I had stayed in touch with her. If I had emailed her when I thought of her recently, could we have reconnected and would anything be different? We always take for granted the people in our lives and the impact we have or could have. We fail to do the small things, the contact and connection.

And then someone kills themself.

And you can't help wondering if you could have done something, anything, to change their mind.